Kratos is back! The seven foot bald killing machine with anger management issues is returning with a brand new God of War game as revealed at the E3, but a lot has changed. Because this time Kratos has reemerged not just with a hipster beard, a swanky new axe and mad parenting skills, he’s also bringing with him an entire new mythology.
So let’s take a look at some of the folks from Norse mythology the god of war will probably meet or more likely decapitate on his travels
Tyr
Anybody who’s played the God of war games know that Kratos went to a lot of trouble to claim the title of ‘God of war’, so it seems likely that he may have grown fond of it. Too bad for him he’s in the Nordic lands now and they have their own gods for all sorts of silly things like wisdom, snow cones and even war
And here in this frozen wasteland the title of war god belongs to not one but three separate entities. Two among these Odin, the big daddy of the gods and Thor the thunder god with such luxuriously blonde hair that it would make Goldilocks jealous you might have heard of unless you were training with Tibetan monks and never encountered the Marvel cinematic universe.
But then there’s Tyr the god of war and justice who is often overshadowed by the hammer wielding Thunder God probably because he didn’t have Thor’s unbelievably chiseled ‘personality’
His perfect rock hard personality
Tyr might have also been overlooked for the role of Natalie Portman’s love interest because he only has one hand, and the most famous tale of his that survived the Viking ages is of how he managed to lose it, but more on that later.
But despite his one handedness Tyr is considered as the bravest of the gods and and a favored deity of Viking raiders when they need a smooth pillaging.
Kratos corner
Now this being set in Nordic times and Kratos being Kratos his battle with Thor is a given but that is going to be the championship title match. But Tyr is good contender for him to start off with, a chance to show everyone there’s a new war god in town. But who knows maybe Kratos will go easy on him because he has only one hand and mercifully let him live…Hahaha No.
Hel
Naming his daughter after the place of eternal damnation might have been poor parenting from Loki’s part even if it was one letter short. In fact some might deduce that it might have unintentionally led her to pursue a career as goddess of the dead and keeper of souls
The best way to describe Hel would be bi-polar disorder and her appearance kind of gives it away. Hel was said to be of two extremes with one half of her body having the face of an angel and the body of a bikini model and the other half appearing as a decayed husk with rotting flesh and your ex’s heart.
Basically this but female
Just like the Greek God of the underworld Hades, Hel too went for the Narcissistic approach of naming her realm after herself. Now all who died didn’t go to Hel, there was a VIP eternal resting place called Valhalla were all those who died bravely in battle went. But if you died in any other way be it of old age or slipping on the wet bathroom floor you got a one way ticket to the chick that pulled off the two-face look before Hollywood made it cool.
Kratos corner
Kratos has always been popular with the ladies and the god of war games have never been shy about this. But given Hel’s half decayed body hopefully this will be one goddess that he handles with his blades or axe or whatever instead of his mighty spear if you know what I mean. (Of course you do)
Nidogg
After Kratos’s performance with the Greek pantheon and its many monsters you must be wondering what more can the new games really be offering. The simple answer is motherclucking dragons.
Sure we had the Kraken and the Hydra and all that but Kratos never got a chance to face a good old fashion Dragon and as far as Dragons go it doesn’t get much bigger or more epic than Nidogg
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