The Psychology of Joe Goldberg (NETFLIX’s You): The Perfect Boyfriend

Share what the Fox Says:

See what I mean when I say he’s just like you, only turned up to eleven. The reason we find ourselves relating to Joe on some weird degree is because we too have shared the emotional base of his actions I’ll be it to a much less dangerous degree. So while you find his actions to be deplorable, you can also understand it on a very basic and sometimes even cathartic level.

But that still wouldn’t make you side with Joe If it wasn’t for…

Joe’s Skewed Reality and Morality

Take away the inner monologue of Joe’s from this show and replace it with ominous music and white noise and you would have an instant horror flick. But his inner monologue is what changes this from psychotic thriller to what I have decided to call Romantic Horror. (A genre which consists of this and Gone Girl)

This look into his mind gives us the reasoning he gives for his actions. And while that does not excuse his actions, it definitely sympathizes him more. And suddenly we start seeing him in a more grey area than in a dark one because we understand that rather than just being evil he is actually insane.

But the real kicker that makes us feel some sort of sympathy for him, is his sense of morality. Yes, he’s a stalker/Jealous prick/ serial killer/ kidnapper/panty stealer (What a resume!) but he also has a deranged sense of morality and many desirable qualities as well.

He genuinely cares about children, he’s polite and well spoken. He is nice and helpful to the people he meets if they don’t “get in his way” and he is despite everything an actual romantic, dreaming of an idealized version of a person that we’re all guilty of doing at sometimes before really getting to know them for who they are.

Also he looks like a poor man’s Henry Cavill, So still hot AF!

But all this, and I can’t stretch this enough is not enough to excuse him for KILLING PEOPLE! (And stealing underwear)

Joe: the Anti-douchebag

The other thing the show is good at portraying other than the deranged inner workings of a romantic serial killer is in representing douchebags. In my The Psychology of Thomas Shelby: Sympathy for the Devil article, I mention how there’s always a worse villain than our anti-hero that helps us root for him and ‘You’ does something slightly similar. While the people Joe kills may not be worse than him on a morality scale, they are easily a lot more unlikable.

Never have I seen a show represent pretentious and shallow douchebags with more originality. And the perfect example is the character ‘Benji’ who was so annoying that you’d often wonder why someone hadn’t rammed him with a pick-up truck already.

And of course he Vapes!

So while these characters don’t deserve to be killed, we also feel a lot less sympathy for their deaths at Joe’s hands because of how thoroughly unlikable they are.

I’ll conclude by saying that the show ‘You’ is definitely worth a watch especially if you’re single and feel like you’re missing out on the dating world. And if you are in a happy relationship, maybe it’ll make you ask yourself if you and your partner are truly the only two humans on earth who liked the Tom cruise Mummy remake, or if that was a meticulous and elaborate lie your partner told you so that you would fall for them. (Although if you liked the Mummy remake, be glad even a psycho asked you out) 

So the moral of the story is kids, That the quiet mysterious stranger who was reaching for the same copy of ‘pride and prejudice’ at the bookstore as you might not be your soulmate or even just another average Joe (OMG! I Like Totally Just Got That! *sarcastic screaming*)

 

Also consider these books for some Psychotic Gods in the New world odyssey series