Ah Love! Is there a more intoxicating feeling in the world than falling in love?
It has made people do more stupid things than all the alcohol in the world combined. It’s a feeling that can be defined as getting stabbed in the gut only for you to repeatedly thank the person stabbing you and going back to the person with a sharpened knife.
Okay so maybe that’s too cynical.
But maybe it was me spending last valentines binge watching ‘Scrubs’ while gorging out on a tub of chocolate ice-cream that made me think, maybe it’s time for me to get back in the game.
Only to find out things have changed! Gone are the days when you would just go to a pub a down enough beers till the average barfly started to look like prince charming (or princess charming). Dating like everything else in the world has gone digital.
With endless Apps like Tinder and Bumble helping you be awkward to potential mates from the comfort of your own bedroom, the internet dating culture has even spawned its own unique lingo!
So here are five words you need to know while trying to find love on the inter-webs:
Catfishing
Okay let’s start with a classic, which is Catfishing. Catfishing is when you pretend to be someone else on the internet to appear more attractive to potential partners. This can be done in many ways such as using the pictures of your more attractive friends and pretending to be them, pretending to be a hot 21 year old college grad, while you’re really a forty year old truck driver.
Basically any form in which you pretend to be someone you’re not, can be considered catfishing. Why it’s called that though I have no clue, I had no idea catfish had a reputation for being so duplicitous.
This is just a random picture of a catfish I once took. At least I think it’s a catfish
Catfishing also has its own minor sub-genre within it such as: Hatfishing, where you always put up pictures wearing hats as to hide your hair (or more likely the lack of it) and Fatfishing, where you use angled or edited photos or even extreme close-ups of the face to hide just how fat you really are!
Ghosting
Another more famous term in today’s online dating world, Ghosting sadly does not stand for when you’re dating a ghost. Instead ghosting is when you completely and abruptly cut ties with someone you were flirting/dating online.
In ghosting you basically just disappear, and unlike in the real world this is much more easily done online with a quick un-match or just blocking their number. Making the ghosted person wonder for eternity on WTF happened and if you were even real to begin with.
And soon you will be but a distant memory of a person they used to know, just like real ghosts. What you don’t think ghosts are real? Then what’s that sitting in the shadowy corner of your bathroom floor?
Still better than a lot of tinder profiles I’ve seen
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