Sarcastic Movie Review: Monster Hunter

Monster hunter is a movie based on the wildly popular gaming franchise of the same name and..well wildly popular in japan, it’s only kinda popular everywhere else..and is the most generic middle of the road 5 out of 10 movie I have seen in a while.

Not a great start I know, but it’s true. The movie doesn’t do anything wrong per say, but it doesn’t really excite or capture you in any way either. Which seems even more redundant because it’s competing with Godzilla vs King Kong, a much better monster movie.

Another project from the husband and wife team of Milla Jovovich and , they really seem to have a knack for making toothless representations of beloved video game franchises, see also the resident evil series.

But unlike the Resident Evil series, the games of which I’m a fan of and therefore found the Movies to be abhorrent sacks of zombie guts, I’d never played the Monster hunter series before and so found the Movie much less annoying.

But even then it’s just a bland by the books story, with some good CGI and decent acting, but lacking any sort of real soul. It’s not a movie you should never watch, but it’s probably best enjoyed on the background while you’re doing your ironing is all I’m saying.

The Plot

Our story begins with Milla’s character a no nonsense military captain leading her group of 2D soldier buddies in search of ‘Bravo’ team who went missing a while back. But instead of bravo team they encounter a mysterious lightning storm that transports them into another dimension filled with mystical monsters and terrors.

If you thought that was generic don’t worry your right, but the movie does distinguish itself soon by…spoilers…killing of every other soldier other than the captain lady in the next five minutes.

You’d think that killing of five of the named characters like that would spark some sort of emotion in the audience, but it does not. I’m reminded of the Joker’s line from the dark knight about when a truck full of soldiers die, no one cares, but I’d change it to when a truck full of generic cardboard cut-out soldiers die, no one can even pretends to care.

And then the movie truly begins with Captain Lady learning to fend for herself in this hostile new world. But who cares about story and plot and that you say, It’s a monster movie what about the monsters!

Also this dude was there, he was helpful but bland

Okay, so the Monster designs are pretty good the first one we’re introduced to, a sand-shark dinosaur thing called ‘Diablos’ had a pretty interesting look. And I guessed it was a more famous one from the games, so I decided to Google the Monster Hunter games and it’s monsters to find out.