Sarcastic Movie Review: Mortal Kombat (2021)

But maybe his Scorpion genes keep him young or something who knows, what I do know is that the only thing worse than is acting is the dialogue he was given to work with, man do some of his lines suck.

In any case Sub-Zero finds out that one of Scorpion’s descendants is still alive, and has the magical Mark that allows him to take part in the Mortal Kombat tournament.

Spoilers Ahead

Now the mark is also something new added to this movie, and is what determines if you can act as a defender to protect earth realm, and from what I understand you are either born with it or you have to kill someone who has the mark to inherit it and it’s all such unnecessary fluff that adds nothing to the story.

And that’s the whole movie. The amount of times I stopped and restarted this review(a lot!) should tell you exactly how dull this movie is. It’s boring and senseless, even more so than the story of mortal kombat usually is, so let me just get the good parts out of the way:

Kano was awesome and seemed like the only person having any fun honestly, I thought maybe they’d be daring and turn him into a good guy in this maybe. But no he stabs everyone in the back and is somehow still the most likeable character in the movie.

This man’s back must hurt from carrying this crap pile of a movie

The Kung Lao’s fatality on the Vampire lady was definitely the highlight of the movie, using his hat as a Buzzsaw to slice the stupidly hot lady with bat-wings in half was everything the MK series represents.

The final fight between Scorpion and Sub-Zero was great as well, at least till Cole joins the battle (annoying loser). The effects and choreography was top notch, somewhat damped by the fact that some of the best parts of this fight were already seen in the trailer i.e. Sub-Zero’s frozen blood spear.

Take note: needed more blood spears

And these parts alone is worth watching.

The rest of the movie however is trash. The worst bit for me was when series favorite 4 armed dragon man Goro came in and fights and loses to Cole young. Freaking champion of Outworld Goro! Loses to this dweeb who merely days ago lost to a regular human in an MMA match, and that dude only had two arms!

And he not only beats Goro, but kills him. And how does he manage this amazing feat, by unlocking his ‘Arcana’ or ability which turns out to be a sort of impenetrable armour that covers his whole body. They gave this guy LITERAL PLOT ARMOUR in order to survive this movie.

Should You Watch it

So then Mortal Kombat 2021, definitely does not get a recommendation then, just wait for all the fun bits to come on YouTube and watch that instead and save yourself from wasting an hour of your life.

For more MK goodness check out the 5 Dumbest characters in the series 

For some God level Kombat check out the NEW WORLD ODYSSEY series