Sarcastic Movie Review: Godzilla VS Kong

But in the end of the day King Kong is just a giant Ape while Godzilla is a literal walking nuclear disaster with fangs, claws and an overpowered flame-thrower.

Apes together strong, but not nuclear fire strong

I especially loved the moment when generic scientist bloke yells “Round two goes to Kong” and I couldn’t help burst out laughing. No it Didn’t! ya Kong got a good hit in but Godzilla was back up and smashing buildings in a few seconds. Ape boy put up a good fight but let’s face it, if Godzilla really wanted to he could atomic blast from a mile away to make primate shish-kebab.

In any case Godzilla win’s the fight against Kong a second time and screams at his face showing once and for all who’s boss, and in my head canon what Godzilla screamed was “WHAT”S a KING to a GOD Monkey Boy!!!”

And just when we thought the movie was over BAM! Out comes Doomsday…er..I mean MechaGodzilla!

The story as is generic as can be, and now our two heroes have to put aside their differences and join together to defeat this new evil. Generic yes, but fun as hell!

I mean it was a moment of school boy glee to see Godzilla and Kong smash a giant robotic dinosaur into a skyscraper and there’s nothing else like it.

Take notes DC: giant robot lizards good, weird tadpole monsters bad!

The Ending

Now Kong did get the final kill on MechaGodzilla, who had kinda beaten Godzilla before on his own, which creates an nice little circle of power balance which I can appreciate.

That is to say: Godzilla beats Kong – MechaGodzilla beats Godzilla – Kong beats MechaGodzilla 

But what we must always remember and take away from this movie is: An oversized orangutan is no match for an Atomic death T-rex from hell!

Now go back and count all the different names I had to come up Godzilla and Kong just to convince you that watching giant monsters punch each other is a lot of fun.

 

I’m just gonna say it Zeus from the NEW WORLD ODYSSEY series can kick all their monster asses.