3. Hive World Sanitation Worker

Job Description: Like the Mario Bros only much much worse

Hive Worlds are home to billions sometimes even more people packed into enormous cities stretching hundreds of kilometres.

That means there is one unavoidable problem: Someone has to clean the toilets.

Actually, calling it “cleaning the toilets” is wildly understating the situation.

Hive World sanitation workers may have to deal with industrial waste, toxic chemicals, dangerous machinery, plague outbreaks, mutants, gang violence and whatever horrifying substance has leaked out of the Mechanicum outpost again.

And remember: This is Warhammer 40K.

If something starts moving inside the waste disposal system, it probably isn’t a rat.

It might be:

• A mutant
• A Genestealer Cult
• A Chaos Cult
• A Chaos Cult that fused into aChaos spawn
• Three hundred Orks
• Some unidentified Xeno horror.

The worst part is that your supervisor will probably still complain that you’re behind schedule.

2. Planetary Governor’s Food Taster

Job Description: Try the Soup or else.

Warhammer 40K is full of assassination attempts.

Political intrigue, Chaos cults, poison, alien infiltration and angry Space Marines have all created a workplace environment where being important is genuinely hazardous.

Which brings us to the food taster.

Imagine having the simplest job description in the galaxy: Eat this

The problem is that your boss is a powerful planetary governor with approximately 17,000 enemies. Every meal becomes a game of chance.

The Imperial food taster probably has one of the shortest average career lengths in the Imperium. The benefits, you get to taste a lot of the best food in the Imperium. That is until your sudden termination, a very literal on at that.

1.The Emperor’s Golden Throne Maintenance Crew

Job Description: Keep the Most Important Machine in the Imperium Running. No Pressure.

Congratulations.You have been assigned to maintain the Emperor’s Golden Throne.

For those unfamiliar with the situation, the Golden Throne is one of the most important devices in the entire Warhammer 40K universe.

It keeps the Emperor of Mankind alive… Sort of…. Alivish ?

But more importantly, it helps maintain the Astronomican. Humanity needs it to navigate the galaxy. It acts as a lighthouse guiding the billions of humans traveling the grimdark Galaxy.

If something goes catastrophically wrong, billions or possibly much more of people could have an extremely bad and short day.

So imagine being the person responsible for changing a cable for the golden throne.

The Golden Throne is ancient, mysterious and barely understood even by the people maintaining it.

Which means the maintenance manual probably looks something like this:

Troubleshooting Guide:

Problem: Reality is collapsing, The Emperor is screaming, Everything is on fire.

Solution: Apply sacred oils and pray.

There is no worse job in the galaxy, you cannot quit, You cannot make a mistake. And if the God being Wi-Fi router stops working, you may accidentally destroy human civilization.

The Warhammer 40K universe is already one of the worst places imaginable to live.

There are aliens trying to eat you. Daemons trying to corrupt your soul. Machines trying to enslave you. Orks trying to fight you.

And the Imperium of Man trying to make sure you filled out the correct paperwork before dying.

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.

And apparently Unpaid Mandatory overtime.