Categories: Listicles

5 Mythical Pets to consider getting instead of a Dragon

So you just helped an old man carry groceries out of his car, and once you finish and decide to politely leave before he starts one those “back in my day” rants, he reveals himself to be an all-powerful wizard who wants to thank you for your kindness. So he tells you that you can have any one mystical/magical creature of your choice as a pet.

Now hold on I know what you’re thinking, you’re going to choose a dragon. A thirty foot tall fire breathing lizard with fangs and claws and can also fly, I mean what could beat that. Your enemies would be burned to cinder in an instant.

But let’s stop and think about this for a second. How many enemies do you have really? And how many would you really burn to a crisp. Also Fire insurance isn’t cheap. And where would your pet dragon sleep? And don’t even get me started on the heaping piles of Dragon dung you’ll have to deal with.

you should see her backyard 

With that in mind, here are five creatures you should consider getting instead of a Dragon:

Unicorn

You know what’s a really cool pet: A horse. Lots of people have horses (mainly rich people and cowboys) and they are quiet useful to have for riding or for entering into horse races. So why not get yourself a magical horse in the form of a unicorn. Unicorns are basically pure white horses with a single long horn on their foreheads. They act as a symbol of purity, virtue, grace and sometimes they fart rainbows.

Now if pop culture stereotyping is to be believed all women love unicorns. So if you’re a girl reading this you’re already sold on the idea. And if you’re a guy, just imagine all the chicks you could pick up with one as a pet. You could actually say “wanna go to my place and ride my unicorn” without it being the sleaziest pick up line ever.    

Direwolf

Now I know Direwolves aren’t magical, but they are extinct and the only way you’ll get one is if a wizard gifts one to you. Dogs didn’t get the title of Man’s best friend for nothing. They are loyal, obedient and just freaking adorable. Now imagine all that, but you could also ride it into battle. That’s where the Direwolf comes in. It’s everything you love about dogs amped up to eleven, with them being bigger in size, having a larger set of teeth and even fluffier fur for cuddles

These guys will also come in handy when you finally snap after someone calls you Bastard one too many times

Jon knows what I’m talking about

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Giorgio Groom

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