Categories: Listicles

Top 5 Fictional (Alcoholic) Drinks we Wish were Real

Ah alcohol, humanities greatest Vice. Is it strange that drinking is such an integral part of human culture. Fermenting fruits in order make a literal poison that makes your brain go dumb is as old as ancient civilization itself. So much so that the ancient Greeks gave one of the 12 seats of the title Olympian god to Dionysius the God of Wine.

Now the real world has plenty of options for alcohol. Walk into any new age club and the number of cocktails with idiotic names are enough to make you read spin, without even downing a drink (what the hell is a slippery nipple?)

And yet there are a few drinks in the fictional world that makes us wish that we still had a few more. So here are five fictional drinks that we wish were real:

Butter Beer (Harry Potter)

Butter beer is the drink of choice for the wizards in Hogsmead and the many  students of Hogwarts who visit the town for their first real drink. Described as “a less-sickly butterscotch” one can only imagine a sweet beer with melted butterscotch cream blended into it, that’s got enough kick to knock a witch off her broom.

Scumble (Mort: Discworld Series)

Scumble is what the patrons of the pub called the Quene’s Hed (or maybe it’s the Duke’s Head) enjoy in the city of Anhk-Morpork situated on the Discworld that sits atop 4 elephants that are carried across the universe by a giant turtle (if you don’t know the Discworld series, this must sound like gibberish).

 In any case Scumble is a strong drink made of apples, well mostly apples. It also may contain damp marches, rats, snakes heads or  lead shots. Or maybe it contains dead sheep an trouser buttons. In any case what we do know it that it’s dangerous for Scumble to come in contact with metal, and it gets the job done.

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Giorgio Groom

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